One of the characters I find myself relating to very strongly.
Especially towards the end of Reload.
To always have believed that you were the only one who needed to be strong, to be afraid to show that you were shaking in fear. To be afraid to show that you care in case you lost it all. To seen so sure of everything but be full of questions, not answers.
To refuse to let anyone get in your way, only to realise you were tripping over your own feet. Clinging onto words spoken in the past, so that you could walk into the future and live in the present.
Understanding how worthless you are, but knowing that at least, you were doing what you believed was the right path.
To secretly desire for peace and comfort. And thinking that death would solve everything.
But realising, the only way to change things was to continuing living.